http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtozwqzJ7pk&feature=youtube_gdata_player For some reason I seem to ejoy these kinds of videos.

It's rather amusing. When I posted about Jonah Mowry, the amount of readers spiked. But now, a few days after it has all returned to the normal amount of one reader a day. I wonder if the video has already gone "out of fashion"... Maybe that was the first and only thing we'll ever hear from Jonah Mowry. Maybe it was the first and only thing alot of people will ever hear from me.

Jonah Mowry - "What's going on"

Recently a video of a young kid named Jonah Mowry has been circulating around the web. In this video Jonah is holding cards saying that he's been bullied since the second grade, and that he doesn't feel well. It is of course very sad. Although later he has posted a video where he admits that the first video isn't true.

This is of course not the important part of this story. Whether the first video is true or not is irrelevant. What matters is the fact that we see and care about a bullied kid when he posts a video of himself. Why is that? Why don't notice the ones who are being bullied close to us. In our schools, at our jobs and in general. These are the ones we should be noticing. But we don't. We show that we care on youtube, not in real life. How can this be? Have we become that lazy? Are we that far gone? Sometimes I think we need a reboot. But that couldn't happen. Man could not make that happen.

I'm not perfect. I make mistakes myself. I've probably missed plenty of bullied kids during my years in school. But we need to start thinking! Looking! Seeing! We are far gone. But it can not be too late. It mustn't. It isn't.

Well...

Well, I didn't tell her to fuck off. Not yeat. It's not over yet. But the problem is she's not really my neighbour. She's my mothers neighbour. And I have to go home and live with my mother for about 5 weeks until I finally can be off on my own again. Something I'm really looking forward to. Education, here I.. well... I'll eventually come!

Boredom

I'm so fucking bored I'm trying to write a post but I don't have anything around to piss me off. 'Cept for our neighbour who's such a stupid bitch that she thinks she can get her cats to follow a routine. Is it ok if I tell her to fuck off?

What... the.... fuck?!

http://gaytostraight.org/home0.aspx

Seriously? Wha the fuck?! Do I even need to write a post about this?

I guess I don't but I will anyway.

After just ten seconds on that ******* site I got offended. Honestly. Really offended. Not because I'm a homosexual myself but because I'm a fucking human being who (supposedly) lives in 21st century. A century that I thought was the most tolerant and accepting century of all so far. If we, of course, ignore the rise of racist political parties in europe. I thought that it was supposedly okay to be gay. But apparantly - no. Some asshole is actually making money from converting homosexuals to heterosexuals. Why, why, why would anyone want to do that? Why would you want to change who you are?

Allright I guess there are some answers to that question. Number one is of course religion. Number two could be pressure from the society. I haven't thought of number three yet, but I'm sure it'll come to me soon enough.

Let us start with religion. Now as I probably have stated before I have no problem with religion. At least not with the basis of most religions. Most of them just state that you should be kind to one another. But what I do have a problem with is things like this. When they ban things like homosexuality and other kinds of "minor little differences" (that in my book are normal). What they are doing is a serious infringement on our rights as human beings. And what happens is that people who, in this case, feel they are attracted to the same sex feel bad about themselves. Very bad. So incredibly fucking bad that they would hire that asshole to change them back. A solution that they probably know deep inside won't work and that will only make them feel worse about themselves. This I have a problem with. This pisses me off to no end.

And on to society then. Society has all these established norms that we "must follow". Some are better than others (like getting an education, getting a job and paying taxes. Things that are positive for them as people and members of the society and for society itself), but even today the 29th of june 2011 it seems that being gay is wrong. Alot of people frown on homosexuality. Why? What are you so scared of? This kind of close-mindedness isn't just bad for the people who are homosexuals. No, it's bad for all of us. Frowning on homosexuality shows close-mindedness which is very related to conservatism. Conservatism inhibits social, economical and technological growth. If things should always "stay the same" society would fall. And it would probably fall quickly. Unfortunatly there is always going to be close-minded people and conservative people. That's the harsh truth of today. And it's very, very sad.

Close-mindedness is the cancer of our modern society and will, if allowed to grow, kill us all!

Just to be clear I don't think we take drastic measures against close-minded people (such as killing, torture, rape etc. etc.). All I want is for people to think. Really think about things. If we're lucky this will inspire debate. Debate is good! The exchange of oppinions. That, my friends is the fuel for growth.

Over and out.

...

Oh, and I'd just like to say that I'm done with all that pretentious fucking bullshit. I'm just going to write. But since I am a pretentious fucking asshole a pretentious post might sneak it's way in here. Although it will not be my primary objective anymore. But who gives a crap, right?

Arsepain pt.2

What-ho!

So the second visit to the doctor, how'd it go? Spledidly. The doctor checked my incredibly painful boil by poking it. Which hurt. Alot. And then decided, in the beat of a heart, that he was going to pop that bad boy. So we changed room and he brought out the scalpel! A few seconds later he had cut it and was busy getting all that disgusting goo from it. Then he put something in there to keep it open so that all that was left in there could find its way out. While he was puting that drainthingy in there he said "Right about now people usually complain about the pain...". As he said that I thought to myself "NO SHIT SHERLOCK!". Man o man that hurt. Imagine someone cutting up something that has been hurting for days and keeping you in bed 'cause you've been unable to sit, stand or walk (or lie on your back) 'cause it's been hurting so much and then he puts something in there. Hooray for me and my poor arse!

Going back there in a while to get that thingy out of there. And what a relief it will be. I wonder if it'll hurt as much as getting it in there... If I only I could go there drunk. That would so make my day.

Over and out

A real pain in the ass.

Good evening! I'd just like to let the one reader out here know that I've got a boil on my ass that's been keeping me in bed for the last few days since I have been unable to sit, stand or walk due to the extreme pain I've been in. This is indeed a good summer. Scheduled doctors appointment in a little more than an hour, and if I'm really  lucky (sarcasm, eh?) I get to visit a surgeon who'll open up the sucker! Fantastic!

Over and out!

Feelin' greedy!

That's right. I feel greedy right now. I want things all to myself. But I guess that's what it's all about when you're and in shorts (if you forgive the minor paraphrase from the Janitor in Scrubs). I guess I'm just having one of those days where you feel as if you want things, and don't want to give anything to anyone. Ever. Might have to do something with the fact that I'm getting low on cash and need to find a job to pay the rent and the food for the rest of the summer. And I guess I'm not really greedy at all, not when you take a closer look at me. I love giving, in general. More than I do getting.

But this month as really been pissing on me, in so many ways. Paid a nice lady some money for renting a smoking, but I had to cancel that and didn't get the money back that I had to put out. It was all done in a bit of a rush in retrospect, but it was fun at the time and it got all fucked in the end. Like most things. And I've also been applying for some schools. I haven't gotten in to a single one. I guess I just want something back, you know? A little pick me up, although I can't afford it. I have to focus on getting an apartment and paying the bills so none of that for me. It'll all work out in the end... I hope.

But greed is a funny thing, isn't it? This is how greed is defined by Wikipedia:
"Greed is an excessive desire to possess wealth or goods with the intention to keep it for one's self. Greed - like lust and gluttony - is a sin of excess. Greed is inappropriate expectation. However, greed is applied to a very excessive or rapacious desire and pursuit of wealth, status, and power."
If that's the case we're all greedy. We all want things and want to keep them to ourselves. Is there really people who deep down aren't greedy? 


It depends on whether the person deciding it is an optimist or a pessimist. From an optimistic point of view the greed, or hunger if you will, is something acquired along the road. If you're a pessimist we're all born greedy and then our parents suppress. I like to think it's a bit of both. Everyone is born with a survivalinstinct which I believe is "powered" by some sort of greed. We'd rather eat ourselves and survive rather than letting somebody eat and survive.That is, again depending on whether your an optimist or a pessimist, a kind of greed.

...I have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm stressed out, burnt out (well... not really) and afraid of what's to come (yes, really). I'll stop writing now.

Interact

Having just checked the statistics it seems as if some kind soul has done something to aid me in the spreading of this blog I'd like to put out a message to those of you who are yet to come as well as old readers.

Don't be afraid to interact with me and/or eachother here in the comment section.

Cheers.

Belief

Again, sorry for the absence of posts, but here it comes. The next one. This time the topic is, as stated above, belief.

It's a funny thing belief. I have such trouble with accepting it myself, although I do wish I did believe. I simply can't. I used to believe in God, when I was 15-16. I was active in the swedish church, and attended meeting every wednesday. Then I had to stop going to these meetings due to the fact that I moved out and studied elsewhere. Slowly but surely my belief in God and higher power started to fade and was replaced with doubt. This doubt was heavy to carry. The with time this doubt was replaced with acceptance of the fact that there was no god. He could not possibly exist. Not because of all the things that are wrong in the world (they were still happening when I did believe), but because... Well, I don't really know why he can't exist. Logic suggests it. No single being could ever have created a universe so beautifully complex as the one we live in. The word "almighty" became absurd to me. There just was no way...

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against religion. In fact I think it's one of the most beautiful things mankind has ever created. It is comparable to a fantastic piece of art, only ever so much more complex since there has been so many people influencing it over the years. People are still affecting it, in ways we can not imagine. Religion in 200 years will not look the same as it does today, just like it doesn't look the same today as it did 200 years ago. And this is considering that religion is one of the most conservative concepts ever. If society did not change, if science would not progress, if we would not become smarter and gain a greater understanding of the universe religion would be the same as it always was. But now religion "keeps with the times" although it does not progress quite as quickly as society, science and mankind does. But what makes religion so incredibly beautiful is that same belief I once had. The concept of just letting go of doubt and believing without question. And of course it does alot of other beautiful things to people. Where religion fails is when combined with mankind and the greed, jealousy and anger we sometimes possess. In general people want more than what they have. And this manifests itself in different ways in different people. Some would never hurt another person to get what they desire where as some would. That's just the way of man. Combine this with the concept of letting go and believing that God makes all the decisions can be quite dangerous as we see in all extremists. Not just islamic! Oh no, christianity has had it's fair share of fanatics over the years as well. That is not something that is confined to muslims. But I do believe that there would still be extremists capable of the same things without religion. If we would take away everything but soup someone would be just as extreme in their view of soup, no matter if it's good or bad.

So where does this lead us? Well, honestly, nowhere. There is really no way to right all these wrongs, and really no need to. Just accept that bad things happened and move on. Don't dwell on past differences and conflicts. Just move on because, trust me, new ones will arrive soon enough. We must just try to stay calm and clear no matter what happens, to rule fairly and trust knowledge, mankind and ourselves as best we can.

So where am I now, personally? Well, I am at a state of curiosity. I want to know the world and how it works. I also try to accept the people around me, be as good a person as I possibly can be. On the matter of dying and what happens next I believe in nothing. When we die, we die. Nothing. No consciousness. Nothing. And what sweet relief it is. Finally, I've accepted nothing as something.

And the apologies start again!

I do wish to, yet again, apologize for my lack of posting here. It would seem as my inspiration has lessened since I startet the blog. Although the blog is not dead yet! There is still alot of things left to say. But as I've been lacking in inspiration, time, energy and all the things necessery ingredients to write something good I have felt it my responsability to you, my very few readers, to keep it silent instead of flooding it with crap (or stuff of actual signifance). This was, as I'm sure I've pointed out, not supposed to be a blog about things I've done and how I've spent my day. It was supposed to be some sort of outlet for things that I find wrong or strange or whatever. I want to maintain some sort of quality of the posts. Therefor I keep silent when there's nothing to say. I guess I'm not really saying anything important here either, other than that I have not stopped thinking about this blog and I do not intend for it to cease just yet. I intend to keep it alive, and there might be some upcoming posts. Thoughts and ideas are starting to take shape in my head and I do intend to put up another real post by the end of the week.

I wish I could end with some wise words, yet I'm afraid I have none.

Over and out